Push past what you see....

I haven't blogged in quite a while but I feel a push in this direction so I'm going to flow with the "fresh wind". I want to know why is it that we can attain and soak up everything that has a negative connotation but those things that are positive we seem to not be able to reach, even mentally.

I know as a child, every negative thing that was spoken to me I grabbed a hold of I felt unworthy and ugly. I really thought I wouldn't amount to anything, but now that I have traveled this road a ways I understand that just because things don't spring forth immediately it is because they are being cultivated. When I look up, it often seems as if I am out here alone... In my world of hopes, dreams, and aspirations. I am not ignorant to the fact that God will move people because they may be hindrances or just plain no good for you. It just seems good, bad, or indifferent they are ALL gone!

When I made a decision to live life recklessly I had a mass of people thronging about me, now that I have decided to do something different, to chase something meaningful, and to have my name leave a sweet taste on the lips of those who say it, there is no one around. I feel as though I have ran people away from my circle, maybe I have made too many mistakes trying to get somewhere that I have never traveled before and not really reading the signs or traveling with no or low momentum.

I read on twitter that when you avoid something for fear of failure you also miss out on the opportunity to succeed. I decided today regardless of my failures I'm going to get up and try again, I'm going to try until I make it. I'm going to try until I make my parents proud. I'm going to try until I create a legacy for my children. I'm going to try until I am the best wife to my husband. I'm going to try until I am the best leader in my church and community. I am going to try until God stops giving me chances to try, so I guess I will try until I die....

When I say I want to be the best this or that I don't mean better than anybody else. I just want to be the very best ME that I can possibly be. I have spend too much time trying to mimic what good or pleasing things that caused another before me to be successful. I want to know what will make LaShaunta successful, what will make LaShaunta flourish, what will make God pleased with LaShaunta!! Perhaps this is the reason why I have felt like there is a drought in my field, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, where things look the most impossible is where God will step in and work a miracle on your behalf!! I have a different outlook on waiting, now I can wait in the midst of my productivity, everything doesn't have to shut down because one corridor is under construction. So beautiful people I AM BACK!!! I pray this post will not just be something else you read in the course of a day, but that it speaks to your situation and helps someone who may be feeling like I did. It's not over for you, the ref is saying get back in the ring, don't count your own self out!!!

Peace and blessings!

Breastfeeding

Come on Time magazine…. This cover is just freaking disgusting!! I am in agreement with a lot of mothers on this topic. I think that breastfeeding is a wonderful experience for mother and baby. This image is way too extreme and sheds a provocative light on breastfeeding to say the least. Individuals want to ban mothers from breastfeeding their infants in public places, what did you think they were going to say about this cover? I think it is wonderful that these mothers want to be close to their children, but there are lots of ways to achieve closeness besides having a four year old hanging off of your breast! There are advocates that promote breastfeeding, who are encouraging young ladies that this method of nurturing is the healthiest choice you could make for your infant. This depiction of breastfeeding would perhaps turn them off because of the negative light it sheds on what is supposed to be a beautiful experience. The illustrations that you commonly see of breastfeeding mothers and their babies displays a soft comforting closeness, a strong connection between breastfeeding and the desire to give babies the very best of the best. As a breastfeeding mother I was appalled to see this, I watched a television show this with Dr. SO and SO, she says that mothers feel maybe they could have done better or they feel guilty that they are not able to participate in this study of extended attachment. PAH!!! I beg to differ with you honey… My youngest child is two and I still have milk but I WOULD NEVER breastfeed her until she was four years old, because it’s just gross she eats at the table just fine, thanks!

I breastfed both of my children and I will undoubtedly breastfeed anymore children that I have. When I see a picture like the one exemplifying this extended attachment method I am perturbed. At what point are you breastfeeding for the health and nourishment benefits and what point does it become more for perversion or comfort? The fact that you are continuing to breastfeed your child at the age of 3 and 4 is no different than giving them a pacifier. The nutritional benefit has greatly dropped at that point because they are getting most of the nutrients they need from table foods. I am in child care and I deal with attachment issues in young children and this proposes a greater challenge for anyone who is planning to help these children make the transition from being at home with mom to being in a structure non pacified classroom environment. There are so many reasons that this is just not acceptable. 

Now what I will argue is in spite of this random and seldom seen extended attachment, not enough American babies are being breastfed at all. It is either one extreme or another (too much or not at all) there are many benefits to breastfeeding your child from birth to one year of age. Mothers who are not able to breastfeed should not feel bad, but those that simply choose not to need to be informed of these benefits. Not only does it provide your infant with much needed natural antibodies that reduce ear infections, pneumonia, diarrhea, and even sudden infant death syndrome. It is also beneficial to the mother as it helps reduce the possibility of getting pregnant too soon (not a guaranteed method but it helps), reduction in breast and ovarian cancer, as well as promoting the loss of the weight gained during pregnancy.  Breastfeeding also creates the skin to skin contact needed for baby to feel closeness to mother as well as putting the infant in the position where they can see the mothers face. We know in the first weeks of life babies have limited color and clearness in their sight and placing a baby in the cradle position for breastfeeding puts them at a closeness they can see and feel. This assists with an infant’s growth in the domain of emotional and social development.

I encourage mothers to at least attempt breastfeeding their infant, it is a win-win approach to nurturing your child. My son was five weeks premature and he had to be delivered via cesarean and once he was born they realized that he was having trouble breathing and immediately placed him in an oxygenated incubator. I was so determined to breastfeed that I sent a message to the nursing staff not to give him a bottle or a pacifier. I sat in my room and I pumped and pumped and pumped, the nurses laughed and teasingly called me the “Colostrum Queen”. I sent it down to the NICU and the staff syringe fed him until they could bring him to me. Once he was able to come down we had such a difficult time getting him to latch, I mean I had the nurses, the doctors, even the hospital lactation consultants trying to assist me in getting my baby to latch on. At times he would latch and it HURT, I knew that was not right! So we went on and off like this for five days, luckily I was still able to pump enough to feed him (and probably some more babies.) It wasn’t until I got home on day five and realized I was feeling pretty bad, I had a fever! I was painfully engorged, so I pumped and amazingly my body had stopped making colostrum, this was pure milk! I pumped 23 ounces of milk and the fever went away I had fully bounced back, and then I wanted to give my baby one more shot at latching. At that very moment he did it, we did it! I was so happy my baby was successfully nursing and I knew I was giving him all the nourishment he needed to protect him from diseases and promote brain development. I tell this story to encourage any woman who is debating or having a hard time with breastfeeding, it may sometimes be a struggle but it is worth it. As a matter-of-fact I have never had anything that was really worth it to come without at least a small fight or struggle, I guess the old saying reigns true, “If it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for!” 

Reports say that infants greatly benefit from exclusive breastfeeding in the first six months of life and mothers that are comfortable can go to the twelve month mark. I admonish you to stick it out as long as you can even if you don’t continue to exclusively feed from the breast. Pump and freeze your milk, get some breast milk pads to make sure that you don’t give your boss a glass…. It may seem like a lot to commit to but it can be done, we commit to the things that we really want to, but that’s a blog of a different color! Why not give your baby the very best in the beginning of life?

Speedy Relationships

In response to A Man, Elevated

I do believe some people commit to relationships too quickly. Not knowing anything about a person is dangerous when you intend to build a relationship, especially in today's society; there are a lot of factors to take into consideration when you're "on the market". You also have to realize there is not a specific amount of time required for a relationship to have validity.

Just because the man or woman you have met meets the tight body criteria or they drive the right kind of car or they are able to take you shopping and to the high class restaurants you like; does that mean he or she is "the one?" No, it doesn't! Relationships that are able to stand the test of time and heartache are the ones that will last and be the healthiest. I'm about to say a bad word "sex"! There it's out there now. People don't want to talk about it but sex always complicates things, once a woman gives away that sacred part of herself she is eternally attached and most times men aren't. Reason being is because men only make deposits; women are the soil, we receive the seed, it grows within us, and we carry it around. These are considered soul ties. We have tied ourselves up with all kinds of people; men who never loved us to begin with, and men that were no good, and men who sole mission was to be a distraction. People we need to get a better discernment when it comes to relationships!

There are several situations to consider because the above is not the case in all relationships. I can speak on behalf of women; we are very emotional and needy creatures. We have a desire for attention, passion, and closeness to our partner. Many of us have been through all types of situations including bad relationships so we are seeking love in all of the wrong places! In the event we meet a guy that is really nice and attentive, we become attached because that is a feeling we are not used to having and we don't want to lose. We give ourselves away in hopes that this will be the one time our feelings are true and will be reciprocated.

You also have to consider some individuals have the Beyonce complex…"Scared of Lonely". I can relate to that as a young woman in the dating game, I was afraid to be by myself, so I jumped out of one bad relationship into a worse one. We have to learn how to be satisfied with ourselves and give God full control of our destinies. Once we do that it will free us up from the fear of being lonely, we can go from being alone to being perfected! No, we will not ever be "perfect" but we can always be better, most of the time it takes for someone to be in a relationship where the significant other points out all of your flaws. Why not spend some time falling in love with yourself, look in the mirror at your own flaws and work on them. I strongly believe we as a people have such a high expectation for a potential spouse but we don't work on ourselves long enough to bring the greatest qualities to the table.

Take time and think on these things before you find yourself jumping in another relationship or in someone's bed!!

Shaun signing off!

Just Ask Shaun…

I would like to start off by saying I am a first time blogger but I intend to have fun with this experience!

I will just go by Shaun, I am from Wilmington, NC I am 27 years old and I have one big problem, the lack of communication in our lives. Everybody's talking and nobody's listening. You cannot EFFECTIVELY communicate if you are doing all of the talking, and you cannot understand something if you don't ask questions

I have noticed a lot of the issues in my life came from a breakdown in communication; whether it was in my marriage, in tasks that I was taking on, or in my childhood setting with my mother. So I decided to bridge the gap of bad communication, which is why I'm creating this blog, sometimes I found it easier to talk to an unbiased source to be sure that I was taking the right approach to an issue before I tackled it head-on.

So I'm giving you an opportunity to bring whatever issues, concerns, or just plain old questions to me for an open discussion. Like I said in my profile I am an Assistant Pastor, a mother, a CNA, a Med Tech, a Cosmetologist, in addition to being a writer, a poet, and an advocate for our youth through a program called "Devoted". I strongly believe that anything your mind can think of you can achieve. I came from a family that was raised in the projects; I am also the product of a broken home, child abuse, domestic abuse, so you can understand that the statistics weren't favorable for me. In spite of all of the obstacles and circumstances, I made it!!! I am still standing and so can you, so if you want to find out the answers to your burning questions or need help resolving a conflict I'm your girl.... Just Ask Shaun!!