Speedy Relationships

In response to A Man, Elevated

I do believe some people commit to relationships too quickly. Not knowing anything about a person is dangerous when you intend to build a relationship, especially in today's society; there are a lot of factors to take into consideration when you're "on the market". You also have to realize there is not a specific amount of time required for a relationship to have validity.

Just because the man or woman you have met meets the tight body criteria or they drive the right kind of car or they are able to take you shopping and to the high class restaurants you like; does that mean he or she is "the one?" No, it doesn't! Relationships that are able to stand the test of time and heartache are the ones that will last and be the healthiest. I'm about to say a bad word "sex"! There it's out there now. People don't want to talk about it but sex always complicates things, once a woman gives away that sacred part of herself she is eternally attached and most times men aren't. Reason being is because men only make deposits; women are the soil, we receive the seed, it grows within us, and we carry it around. These are considered soul ties. We have tied ourselves up with all kinds of people; men who never loved us to begin with, and men that were no good, and men who sole mission was to be a distraction. People we need to get a better discernment when it comes to relationships!

There are several situations to consider because the above is not the case in all relationships. I can speak on behalf of women; we are very emotional and needy creatures. We have a desire for attention, passion, and closeness to our partner. Many of us have been through all types of situations including bad relationships so we are seeking love in all of the wrong places! In the event we meet a guy that is really nice and attentive, we become attached because that is a feeling we are not used to having and we don't want to lose. We give ourselves away in hopes that this will be the one time our feelings are true and will be reciprocated.

You also have to consider some individuals have the Beyonce complex…"Scared of Lonely". I can relate to that as a young woman in the dating game, I was afraid to be by myself, so I jumped out of one bad relationship into a worse one. We have to learn how to be satisfied with ourselves and give God full control of our destinies. Once we do that it will free us up from the fear of being lonely, we can go from being alone to being perfected! No, we will not ever be "perfect" but we can always be better, most of the time it takes for someone to be in a relationship where the significant other points out all of your flaws. Why not spend some time falling in love with yourself, look in the mirror at your own flaws and work on them. I strongly believe we as a people have such a high expectation for a potential spouse but we don't work on ourselves long enough to bring the greatest qualities to the table.

Take time and think on these things before you find yourself jumping in another relationship or in someone's bed!!

Shaun signing off!

Just Ask Shaun…

I would like to start off by saying I am a first time blogger but I intend to have fun with this experience!

I will just go by Shaun, I am from Wilmington, NC I am 27 years old and I have one big problem, the lack of communication in our lives. Everybody's talking and nobody's listening. You cannot EFFECTIVELY communicate if you are doing all of the talking, and you cannot understand something if you don't ask questions

I have noticed a lot of the issues in my life came from a breakdown in communication; whether it was in my marriage, in tasks that I was taking on, or in my childhood setting with my mother. So I decided to bridge the gap of bad communication, which is why I'm creating this blog, sometimes I found it easier to talk to an unbiased source to be sure that I was taking the right approach to an issue before I tackled it head-on.

So I'm giving you an opportunity to bring whatever issues, concerns, or just plain old questions to me for an open discussion. Like I said in my profile I am an Assistant Pastor, a mother, a CNA, a Med Tech, a Cosmetologist, in addition to being a writer, a poet, and an advocate for our youth through a program called "Devoted". I strongly believe that anything your mind can think of you can achieve. I came from a family that was raised in the projects; I am also the product of a broken home, child abuse, domestic abuse, so you can understand that the statistics weren't favorable for me. In spite of all of the obstacles and circumstances, I made it!!! I am still standing and so can you, so if you want to find out the answers to your burning questions or need help resolving a conflict I'm your girl.... Just Ask Shaun!!